Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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