oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
