His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
