girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
