if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
