Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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