You made me cry and you don't even care
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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