..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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