just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
