If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
