So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he thought i was a dude.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
