Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
