Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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