Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
