party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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