break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
