The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
