I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize