Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Four minutes until I can fart!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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