His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
