she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
