I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
