Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
