We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
