Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Holy shit dude........stairs
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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