He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize