And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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