I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
