While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize