I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
