lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Randomize
