new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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