your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
