Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
ttyl tear gas
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
