halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize