I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
