She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
