3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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