Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm at about main and main street
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
