Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
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So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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