Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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