who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
