God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I can text with my tongue
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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