I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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