Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
