why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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