I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
