and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
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Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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