We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
