I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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