my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize