Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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