I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
