I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
