Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
