I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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