Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
so let's talk penis.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You made out with two different species that night
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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