so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
