I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We are all done wearing pants today
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
