ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
