i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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