Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
