found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
