Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
