I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
