That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
