I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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