When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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