Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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